- Thursday, 17 August 2017

Whoopsadaisy

 Whoopsadaisy! I have gone yet another almost-three-weeks without updating my blog... again.

This post serves little purpose (best to be honest about it, hey?) other than to:
a) fill a gap so I can at least prevent any completely empty months, and
b) put into practice a new thing I'm trying to do.

The new thing is this: fewer apologies. I have been quietly trying to apologise less for a little while now, and it really takes some concentration. I'm not sure if this is because I'm British and absolutely one hundred million percent fulfil the stereotype of endless pleases, thank yous and sorrys in just about every situation ever, but it would certainly account for a lot.

The idea is not, obviously, that you start being a horrible person. I think that would be difficult for me anyway, considering how intensely guilty I feel whenever I think that I may have possibly done something miniscule to potentially make someone a teeny smidge unhappy for perhaps a whole entire millisecond.

The idea is, in fact, that you own your actions. We are each the protagonist of our own lives, so we should  start acting like it, rather than going through life as a side plot in somebody else's. Instead of adjusting everything you do to fit as neatly and conveniently as possible, just consider them as you go through your own life, but don't let those considerations dictate what you do and don't do.

This means that if, for example, I go nearly three weeks without posting on my blog, which isn't negatively affecting anyone, I don't have to apologise for that to anyone but myself. If I then decide that I actually don't need an apology from myself, that's me off the hook, and instead of feeling guilty and apologetic, I can focus on learning from whatever the situation was (i.e. blog laziness) and moving forward. Or, as we say at my NEW JOB WHICH I LOVE in case I hadn't already mentioned that enough: I can pivot. I scooch around having taken onboard whatever I have learned, and I try something new.

The gist is this: don't apologise unnecessarily. It was drawn to my attention when I went to a kickboxing class recently, where the whole point is to get past someone else's defences, while stopping them from doing the same to you. The problem was that every time anyone actually did this, they would apologise, which completely defeats the purpose of the whole activity. In a situation which doesn't merit an apology or where an apology doesn't improve things, DON'T BOTHER. Save you energy for something more worthwhile.

Which is to say, I'm not apologising for the frequency (or, more accurately, the lack thereof) of my blog posts recently. Instead, I am saying whoopsadaisy, recognising it, and fully intending to pivot on the spot and do something about it.

Cue a gif of Ross bellowing 'PIVOOOOOT', just when you thought Friends had already taught you all the life lessons you could possibly need.

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