Social Media Insecurity

I delete my tweets. This might sound weird, or stupid, or anything else but I do it and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. For reasons I don't really know, every so often I go through my twitter and delete tweets in a sort of cull. In the past I have done the same for instagram and facebook but they're as more of a one-time clear-out than a regular occurrence. It is probably for a similar reason that nobody knows what my blog is called. A few people know I have a blog, but they don't know enough about it to be able to find it. Furthermore, the reason the posts I do have are so sparse is simply because there used to be a lot more which have since been reverted to draft, particularly from the early days of this effort.

Why? Social media insecurity.

With a blog, it is a circle that has no clear beginning or end. The dilemma is this: I don't want to tell people about my blog until it is a bit more successful, but in order for it to become a bit more successful, I have to tell people about it. Any reasonable person would probably say that just telling people about it as it is is the best way to reach that goal, however for some unknown reason this is a great deal easier said than done.

The so-called insecurity (perhaps paranoia or worry or just general stress is better) most likely stems from the same thing that causes insecurity in almost all situations - other people's opinions of you. This is the motivation behind both doing, and not doing, a lot of things, and I think it is the motivation behind keeping my blog on the down low (for now anyway) and culling my tweets. The concern is that people will read dumb things I've said and form an opinion that I'd much rather they didn't have. Obviously the majority of people will actually take into consideration that some of this stuff is from ages ago, but even that knowledge has little effect.

Blogging has a tendency to be a very public hobby. Often the point of blogging is to inform, or spread views, share your opinions, share updates on your life etcetera etcetera. But then there are blogs that fall to the opposite extreme where it is basically a digital diary and very private, where other people are never meant to see it at all. This blog is, for now, somewhere in the middle - my long-term goal is something along the lines of 'I'd like this blog to be successful and for people to enjoy reading it', but I also really don't feel like I want people I know to read it.. If you're reading this any time around the time when I've posted it, it's probably because you've stumbled upon it by [happy] chance (please stick around!). If you're reading this further in the future and you know me in person, it'll probably be because I've finally taken the plunge and actually (or accidentally) told you about it. Not sure how I feel about that. Good, I hope.

Anyway that is enough mundane pointlessness for now. Bye. Might go delete some tweets.


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